ALWAYS WEAR AN IDENTIFIABLE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING

I think it is essential that whenever leaving the house, and sometime on occasion within the home, you should always wear an identifiable piece of clothing. Something unique, something different. There are so many benefits to wearing an identifiable article of clothing, it is simply ludicrous that a person would even consider walking out of their bedroom without throwing on a pair of neon pink tights, or shiny lame sneakers. Or a giant blue and yellow flowered bag (hello!).

You inquisitive little readers! You’re wondering why, aren’t you? Well, luckily, I’m in the sharing sort of mood.

One of the more sinister reasons is because of the whole “last seen wearing” question that people always ask when someone is missing. “Last seen wearing a blue jacket.” Now, how helpful is that, really? I would probably say that 70% of the people out there are wearing a blue jacket/coat/blazer/sweater vest. Not such a great identifier. Any good Samaritan out on the lookout will be stopping every third person on the street. “ARE YOU TERRY? ARE YOU TERRY!?” This will get old quickly. More than likely, your potential savior will end up locked up for “observation” or just meeting a lot of people that aren’t named Terry. Now, the person “last seen wearing” yellow paisley pants will probably end up being found within 24 hours. There is no escaping notice in a snazzy pair of pink stir-up pants. And this time, that’s a good thing.

Perhaps you’re looking for a reason that’s a little more romantic. Have you ever heard of Craigslist “Missed Connections”? It’s a section on the website where people that saw someone they liked but couldn’t cowboy-up and ask them out in person, post ads in the hopes that their object of affection might read it and respond. I know what you’re thinking.

BUT…what if? If you’re one of those people that either wants to post an ad, or be found through one, you should be wearing an identifiable article of clothing. How about a nice lime green dickie? That way, you’re sure to not get confused with another love-lost New Yorker. Unless everyone starts wearing green dickies. Then you’re still screwed.

NOTE: Be sure to only wear one stand-out and identifiable article of clothing. People tend to block-out things that upset them. It’s a survival skill; if you doubt me, I dare you to trip yourself and fall flat on your face. When you look up while lying on the ground, I guarantee that you will have one person at the most risk a fleeting glance at you. And as you wipe the gravel and blood off of your face, you will feel satisfied knowing that you were right.